Ask almost anyone. To only the rare flyer is air travel "fun." As a businessman, I really struggle with the idea that even though airlines are trying to be profitable, they have effectively sapped any enjoyment out of the travel experience. Although this Borowitz news report is satirical, it has a tinge of truth to it: "US Airways has announced a cost-cutting measure to replace customer service agents with baggage handlers. As a senior official at the airline put it: "passengers, bags... they're all the same."

My trip across the Atlantic this Christmas season was uneventful and really quite forgettable. But it did get me thinking a lot about how United could go about improving the "Customer Experience."

In my opinion, an airline (or any service business) should do everything it can to consistently manage the customer experience. This is, unfortunately, something that United does very poorly. My buddy Erik and I checked in at Raleigh-Durham airport on Tuesday afternoon. Noisy, clausterphobic, dinny. The aesthetics and efficiency of the environment were enough to raise one's blood pressure. While I was waiting in the first-class line another passenger grimaced at me from across the elastic divider. "I think the line starts back there." He motioned to the back of the economy line that was 30-people deep. "No," I kindly pointed out, "this line is for first-class passengers." It wasn't his fault. There was a tiny sign hinged sideways at the back of the line. The gate agent assigned to first-class passengers had been doing double duty. A huge luggage cart lay across the middle of the queue obstructing passage. As I stepped up to be served by the agent, someone to the left of me grumbled, "I've been waiting here 45 minutes already!" If your customers waiting in line are angry with you before they start their trip, is this a good thing?

At the security checkpoint, the women who checks IDs (as far as I know, not TSA) was scolding a businessman for having too many carry-ons. He had a small rollaboard, a briefcase and a plastic bag with some North Carolina souvenirs. Here he was, in his suit, down on his knees as if praying to her, repacking his bags to please her. He could not get the souvenirs to fit in his suitcase and she kept shaking her head and would not let him pass.

At the gate, there was one gate agent working three flights. The line at desk was 5, 10 eventually 15 people deep as the gate agent ran down the runway to extend the jetbridge for an incoming flight. She ran back and changed the signboard on the gate, helped a few passengers, and then had to go to another plane and begin boarding. Soon the line stretched back 20 people. They were starting to grumble.

Onboard, even in business class from Washington DC to Munich, service was perfunctory. Nothing wrong with it. Nothing amazing about it either. I tried to buy some duty free, but the flight attendants did not know how to activate the 10%-off 1K discount. Oh well, it would be cheaper in Munich anyway.

Why must air passengers pay the price of poor quality service? Airlines often respond that with low fares, they can't afford to "upgrade" their services. But I'm not necessarily looking for a better seat, futuristic in-flight entertainment or a Louis Vuitton amenity bag. All I want is a better experience. In other words: just try harder, guys!

If any company understands this, it is Ritz-Carlton. They've developed "experience" to the point where customers will even pay more for it. Back when Horst Schulze took over the company in the 1980s, the hotel industry looked a lot like the airline industry today. Low paid employees, low management investment and a general attitude that "our industry is different" so we do not need to follow common rules about customer respect. Schulze took the Ritz-Carlton brand and created now-renowned gold standards. Ladies and Gentleman Serving Ladies and Gentleman became their motto. Its business became customer-obsessed and data-driven. For example, the hotel chain has documented 1,071 instances where a problem could arise in dealing with event planners. By 1999, over 80-percent of Ritz-Carlton guests claimed to be "extremely satisfied." Show me one major airline that can boast that.

What can airlines like United do? First, become customer obsessed. Live in your customers shoes to understand them and their expectations. Does Glen Tilton (CEO of United) talk with the miserable phone reps in India when he wants to make a reservation? Make sure executives are interacting with customers. Do market research and, more importantly, pay attention to the results when changes are made. What are the satisfiers? Disatisfiers? Also, improve your hiring practices. United has some tremendous employees that have been with the company for a long time. Others... well, they're more like free-loaders. Treat employees well and witness the trickle-down effect. Employees don't need to be trained -- that's for dogs; employees need to be educated about values and goals. They can figure out the rest. So, tie incentives to customer satisfaction and set goals accordingly. Finally, and this is a big one for airline personnel: take one for the team. Airline employees are notorious for passing the buck. At Ritz-Carlton, if a mistake is made, the first employee to hear about it "owns" the mistake. They are then empowered to do whatever it takes to fix it.

Do that, United, and I guarantee you will discover not only a powerful competitive advantage, but some long-term profitability too.