Interacting as a customer with a large corporation is a lot like the average student's relationship with the junior high principal: sometimes pleasant, mostly indifferent, and occasionally very, very disagreeable. In the last few weeks, I've flown about 4,000 miles across the country and have dealt with the gamut at United. On most of the flights, I was just a regular "student." I didn't get treated poorly, but not particularly special either. On other flights, the great staff made me grin like a valedictorian. It was those few times when I knew I had done nothing wrong, but someone was having a bad day, that I was the class dunce.

Durham Drama

It perhaps is not news to anyone, but environment contributes a lot to attitude. Many famous psychologists and sociologists that I can't begin to name even suggest that our personality and character is shaped by the environment in which we are raised.

In other words: do not raise your children at the Raleigh-Durham airport. Even if your child, like Tom Hanks, can live a semi-normal life at the airport she won't turn out a dream child.

Paul and I walk into the terminal on Saturday after a few days house-hunting. Cut-offs and tight jeans expose sweaty flesh, pressing on every side in the lines zagging across the terminal. The buzz from the neon lightbulbs overhead only add to the echoy din of the shouting passengers and airline agents. No one is in a good mood. Why should they be. A gate agent steps out from behind the counter and announces, with as much character as roadkill possum, "I have an announcement to make." (That much was obvious.) "If you want to check-in, use the machines." She pauses and glares at the people in line, daring them to take her on. No one moves. More forcefully now. "I said... if you want to check-in use the machines!" The agent sighs for our benefit as she whips around and returns to her station. This is going to be a long check-in.

The agent handling my line is arguably just as bad, but on a different scale. He's clueless. Checking in the people ahead of me, he pauses, grimaces, rubs his jaw broodingly with his hand. I think all they want to do is check their bags. After about 30 minutes, and asking RoadKill to show him a few things, he finally sends them on their way and waves me forward.

"Hi! I've already checked in for this flight..." (I hand him the boarding pass for my second segment) "...and was wondering if you could put me on the VDB list. I heard it was oversold." The look he gives me is far from comprehensive. ClueLess looks at the boarding pass, almost foreignly, and grabs the other one from my hand. "You want to be upgraded?" he asks. I chuckle. "No, no. I was just curious if you could put be on the VDB list for the flight." Still puzzled. "The DM list?" I try not to expose my growing my frustration. "Well, I heard this flight was oversold," pointing to my second boarding pass, "and was hoping you could put me on the volunteer list." Why would they assign someone who was unfamiliar with the system on the first class/Premier line? Clueless goes over to ask RoadKill what to do, and after glaring at me and making a snide remark, she shows him how to do it.

My next question is even harder. "My friend here is booked on the United-codeshare US Airways flight to Chicago. Could you add him to standby list for the non-stop flight to Chicago?" RoadKill overheard this one that time. "No way, I don't do that." Unfortunately for her, I knew it was possible. "He's on United stock, it's a 016 ticket. Is there anyone we can call that can help us figure it out?" She arches her back, her hair bristles straight in the air and she hisses, "Are you saying I don't know how to do my job?!?" RoadKill was ready to fight. Having no such intention, I bow "thank you" and retreat to the back of the check-in line.

The 1K number is on my mobile's speed dial. I had a 1K agent on the line within 2 minutes who agreed with me -- yes, it was possible! She laughed when I related my exchange with the United Express staff at the counter. "Would it help if I talked directly to her?" she suggested. She didn't need to ask me twice. I handed my phone to Clueless. "Uh-huh... uh-huh... well, I don't know how to do that. You'll have to tell me... Uh-huh... okay. Thank you. Goodbye." After conversing with RoadKill and typing a few things, Clueless hands a DM (departure management) card to my friend for the wrong flight! This was not going to go anywhere quickly. We say thanks, charge through security and find (praise the Lord) a compentent agent at the gate who sorts it all out.

These are the bad days at United. The rest of the itinerary wasn't any better -- disgruntled agents and flight attendants flustered beyond belief who snapped at passengers; delayed flights; and broken reading lights. As I heard one attendant say once, "Be careful when opening the overhead bins. Shift happens." Indeed.

West Coast Wows

Quite on the other end, are the great flying days when you feel like royalty!

The luxury hotel chain Four Seasons' guiding principle is the Golden Rule: "Treat others as you would want to be treated." As I have traveled the world over and interact with gate agents, flight attendants and other airline personnel, this is also my mantra. How many times have I seen them on the receiving end of verbal abuse from passengers? I want to do my part to bring them at least momentary joy in their job.

Of all the airports in United's system, the ones in the Northwest arguably have the best staff. Seattle, Portland, and Eugene spring to mind. From the gate agents to the SEA-based crews, it's rare to find a sour one among them. Usually happy, always helpful and often willing to go the extra mile.

Today, I purposefully missed my early flight to spend quality time with family. Loads were light and I it wasn't a risk to show up at 2PM for my 11AM flight. When I arrive at the airport, security is wide open and the TSA staff even smile as I put my shoes through the x-ray. My intended flight is delayed due to thunderstorms in the midwest so they put me on the later departure. I head straight for the gate and am assigned onto the later flight with no trouble. Having nothing better to do, I whip out my laptop and began, actually, to type this blog. Then I hear a voice. "Can I see your boarding pass?" The jovial gate agent from A32 is hovering over my seat. "Uhhh... sure." She takes it, stares at it condescendingly and says, "Hmmm... Yeah. Here, this one is better. Happy Fourth of July!" The new boarding class is for First! I'll be eating dinner afterall. "You didn't have to do that!" I exclaim. She grins and walks away, "I know! Thanks for your loyalty."

I could tell many more stories about airline customer service -- the good, the bad and the ugly. And maybe I will.