When it comes to air travel, there are a few things that are unavoidable: expensive parking, lines, security checks, and sooner or later, a rude fellow traveler. We've all witnessed their behavior (and sometimes even know them or ressemble them!). These are the schmucks that complain about everything, sometimes justifiably, but mostly just ignorantly. I pity the customer service agents that deal with them. But, I must admit, I do derive a little bit of entertainment value from watching... a small glimpse of the Jerry Springer Show of The Skies.

The latest for me was on a recent Phoenix to Denver flight. The gate agent announced to the crowd waiting to board that we were waiting for an in-bound flight from Chicago. It contained an oxygen canister needed by one of the passengers onboard our flight. The agent continued, "With tailwinds, we still expect to have you into Denver early or on time." It was a Saturday, and no one was in a hurry to go anywhere... apparently.

Then Captain Schmuck steps up. His body language and tone of voice immediately conveyed the message that he was not only dumb as a rock, but mad as a hornet too. The verbal shelling lasted for nearly two minutes. He railed on about holding us up, and missing his connecting flight. "Will they hold the connecting flight for me like they are for this women?!" he gestured in the direction of the wheelchair-bound passenger. Without waiting for an answer, "Yeah! I think not." After a few more seconds of fuming, he steamed off. His travel companion, a teenage boy, was clearly embarrassed by his grandfather and shook his own head in disbelief. The crowd of frequent flyers behind me were already cracking jokes ("What's he going to be for Halloween? A schmuck?!").

For all the complaining people do about the surliness of airline employees, maybe they should complain more about people like Captain Schmuck. I would hazard to guess most agents almost enjoyed their job before people like him came along.

Oh... And the end of the story? We made it to Denver 4 minutes before our scheduled arrival time. I'm sure Captain Schmuck made his connection with plenty of time to spare.