Few people would consider flying an art. Then again, few would call it a science either. (Most people tend to use words like "intolerable hell".) But when your goal is to maximize your mileage earning abilities for the least dollars -- there's a little of both art and science involved.

My (professed) goal has always been to hoard enough miles for the Ultimate Award: a "Round-The-World" trip in first class for two on Star Alliance. The price of this honeymoon trip of a lifetime? 800,000 miles.

So began my search for incredible, stupendous, amazing mileage-earning opportunities. Sure, there's always the 20,000 mile credit card sign-up bonus, the 10 miles/$ at participating iDine restaurants and the 125 miles for every $250 spent at Safeway... but that will never get you anywhere fast. To earn miles -- you have to fly! And the trick is to wring out every extra mile that you can from every single flight that you can.

Most airlines lavish perks on their top flyers. For example, as a 1K member of United's MileagePlus program (meaning I fly in excess of 100,000 miles each year), I earn 100% mileage bonus on each flight -- essentially double miles. My last run was a quick weekend jaunt to Portland: We left Denver at 8AM, and flew through San Diego, San Francisco and Seattle before eventually arriving in Portland just in time for dinner at Wildwood Restaurant (highly recommended, by the way). Next morning, back on the plane at 11AM bound for Eugene, Oregon with subsequent segments into San Francisco, Los Angeles and then Denver. All told, that trip earned me nearly 13,000 miles!

This zany creativity can also be applied to so-called "regular" flights. Got a business trip to New York? Just leave a day early and jet off from Phoenix to Denver to Houston to Chicago to New York... instead of a measily 3,000 or so miles, you could earn closer to 6,000. (And finish those books you always wanted to start!)

Usually when I tell people about adventures like this, I get very strange looks or they turn around and hail a cab. Somehow the logic works in my mind though: spend $400 to accumulate 100,000 miles and then redeem it for a first class seat to Europe that would have normally cost me $12,000. I sit in the best seats that the airline has to offer, I eat the best food in the sky, I sleep in the best suites in some of the top hotels of the world and all I gotta do is take a few trips?

Heh... maybe I am crazy afterall. But that suits me just fine. You just go on being "normal" and sit in your 17"-wide economy seat with 31" pitch. And I'll sit up here in my 25"-wide lie-flat seat with 52" pitch sipping on champagne and eating filet mignon... we'll see who's crazy.